Atonement
by Ahera
Summary: Her heart surged as she finally found the courage to open the note. She slipped her finger inside of the crease and pulled gently unfolding it. She could faintly see his elegant script through the thin membrane of the paper...
1. Prologue

**ATONEMENT**

_Prologue_

* * *

_When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun._

_Then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a_

_bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you_

_don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to_

_catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop_

_being fun and start being scary?_

They had spent almost their entire lives together. But sometimes nothing can keep two people together. Sometimes, two people, for whatever reason, must separate. Even if it's only for a short period of time.

Whatever the case, the moral of the story is that the road we follow on the pursuit of happiness is sometimes a dangerous one littered with detours, dead ends, and cliffs.

And even the lucky ones, who make it to the end of the road, realize that the things you gained along the way can be stripped away abruptly, without remorse. And then suddenly you find yourself back at the very beginning. How horribly nostalgic.

* * *


	2. Disengagement

**ATONEMENT**

_Chapter one_

* * *

The doorbell rang. It was an airy cheerful tone that sounded like the type of melody you might hear on a carousel at the carnival. Totally inappropriate for the current situation. Which was awkward post breakup, he had come to her apartment to pick up his things and it was really the last thing he wanted to be doing.

She opened the door slowly peering around the edge while trying not to look him in the eye. After a seconds recognition she opened the door all the way and pinned herself against the wall so he could get by. He briskly walked by, he smelled of cologne, the intoxicating smell he always wore that turned her into a wild animal and made her want to ravish him. And she would have done just that if they had not broken up just a couple days ago.

She felt awful for avoiding his gaze, but she couldn't handle to look in his tortured eyes or for him to look in hers. Staring through her the way he always did. She closed the door and walked into the kitchen to grab her cup of coffee. She brushed her nose over the cup inhaling the bitter aroma; she had to get his scent out of her mind. It was driving her crazy! It was just like sasuke to make her want him back by simply walking past her.

She held her hands around the cup feeling the warmth, she took a long sip. And she placed it on the table abandoning it for now. The mature thing for her to do would be to help him gather his things. She nodded to herself making up her mind. Plus with her help the process would go so much faster and that meant much less awkwardness, and that she could go back to staring dejectedly out the window while stuffing her face with chocolate ice cream.

She climbed up the stairs suddenly regretting her decision, but she forced herself to continue because the creaky steps had already given her attempt at maturity away.

She turned to corner to see him putting one of his shirts, and her favorite pajama top, into a cardboard box. She felt her throat get dry and her eyes start burning. Maybe it was too much for her, maybe she could simply pretend she had gone up to go to the washroom.

She didn't have time to think, he turned around to see her standing out the top step holding onto the railing looking at him.

"I think I've got it all." He said looking at her noticing her eyes welling up.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and she nodded, telling herself that she could cry after. He picked up the box and strode past her down the stairs. She followed wiping the stray tear that had escaped her eye away. She walked ahead of him towards the door and held it open for him so he could carry the box out with ease.

He plunked it into the trunk of his black convertible and slammed the door shut.

She walked to the edge of the sidewalk holding herself. He stood staring at her, his car key shaking slightly in his hands. They stared at each other for a brief moment and then both walked toward each other not exactly knowing what they were doing. They hesitated just in front of each other fearing they might break the newly acquired "casual acquaintance" state with a peck they would have thought as nothing a week ago. They stepped forward to share an awkward but warm hug. The kind that two old friends would share, which was exactly what they were. Two very old friends. Two very old lovers. As she hugged him his intoxicating scent filled her nostrils. Reaching through her veins till it filled every inch of her. She couldn't handle it and tears began to roll freely down her cheeks with no restraint whatsoever. She hugged him more tightly. They stood frozen for a minute or so till they finally peeled away.

He put his hands on her shoulders, "Sakura, I want you to take care of yourself." He uttered just above a whisper. He wiped away a tear that had just conquered the better part of her cheek with his thumb. She nodded, her lips clasping together barely holding in the erupting shaking sobs that her body was waiting anxiously to release.

He hugged her once more briefly. And then he let go of her. Emancipating himself, he felt his core shaking. Like the world had come tumbling down upon him. What if he couldn't live without her? He wanted so badly to turn around and put his arms around her delicate waist, kiss her madly and tell her he couldn't live without her, ask her desperately to take him back. She would nod and kiss him back and all would be well. They'd turn back and run into the house, he'd throw her on the bed and they would make love all day and into the night. Then they would fall asleep in each others arms and when he woke up, she would be in the kitchen preparing breakfast wearing his t-shirt. But it couldn't be. It tore him apart as he climbed into the car seat. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she rejected him. He slammed the door shut with more force than necessary, probably due to his inner turmoil.

She jumped at this and took a small step towards the car. He turned the key and the engine revved to life. He glanced at her and gave a sad smile; she returned an almost identical smile. And then as if he had never been there he drove down the street and around the corner.

She stared at her feet for a moment, and then looked at were his car had disappeared around the corner. Then finally after a moment's hesitation she turned on her heel and walked back up the concrete steps and into the house. She immediately opened the freezer door.

A bystander looking at the girl would simply see a normal woman, with not a care in the world. The expression on her face was serene that of a person who was completely and utterly content. But it was not the case. It was simply the calm before the storm.

She pulled the carton of chocolate ice cream out from inside the depths of the freezer. There was much crying to be done.

* * *

After her long fit of sobbing, she had curled up in a tight ball and fallen asleep. She was exhausted; she had been crying all night and hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Not to mention the days stress. Her eyes just felt so heavy and she complied with their desire. It was at least 2 and a half hours till the young woman woke. The tears had dried on her face creating a white salty sheen on her cheeks she wiped it off with some difficulty and got up off the bed. Sasuke had left her room exactly the same as it had been before he arrived. Yet it felt empty, it felt different, unfamiliar. As if she had just moved in and was slowly adjusting to her new environment.

Suddenly her head jerked up. She dropped to the floor laying her body flat against it; she reached her thin arm far underneath her bed. For a moment she thought he had taken it and the coming sobs began to shake her small body. Then suddenly her hand brushed over something hard and cold. She smiled a hollow shuddering smile. She new simply looking at the beautifully bound booklet would shake her with a new bout of erupting sobs. But she simply couldn't help herself.

She pulled it out. Holding it in her shaking hands, she looked down at the white cover that was decorated with pink cherry blossoms. She held it to her chest and closed her eyes. Her body quickly rejected the instinct to rip it open and look at its indigestible contents. She ignored it. She pulled open the cover running her hands over the soft fabric that covered it. She couldn't handle it. Her soft hand covered her mouth, her eyes squinting in agony. The book was full of their memories together. Ever since seventh grade. They had been best friends. They did absolutely everything together.

She turned the page. They looked older more mature, her hair was short and faint bumps appeared under her shirt. The outline of hard abs began to show under his. She scanned over the content. Pictures of them, one that she couldn't help but crack a laugh at. It was them at the mall, in one of those Rambo and Betty boop cardboard photo shoots. He had stuck his head in the hole that was over Betty boops body, and she had stuck hers in the one over the muscled man. She choked on her laugh a tear rolling down her face.

She turned the page and found the note he had used to ask her out in grade ten. It was written on crinkled lined paper that had a yellow tinge to it from age.

* * *

_Dear sakura,_

_I'm really really sorry. I didn't mean to scare you that night I walked you home. I wanted to tell you how I felt in person but it seems I don't have the guts to do so. I love you. As more than just a friend. It's okay if you don't feel the same. But I just wanted you to know how I felt._

_Don't be mad,_

_Sasuke_

* * *

She thought he had been crazy for thinking she'd be mad. As soon as she had found the note she had run to his house. The moment he had opened the door she had flung herself on him. Locking him in an inexperienced but nice kiss.

She could remember how they couldn't stop looking at each other, how they couldn't stop smiling.

This broke her. She threw the book on the ground shaking with sobs. She wrapped her arms around her knees.

Maybe she shouldn't have looked at the book. Maybe it had been a mistake.

She sat there for a while just thinking. She pushed it back under her bed with her foot. She would have to look at the rest another day. It was something she simply just couldn't handle at the time being.

She laid face down on the bed. Her face landed on something crinkly and pointy cornered.

She lifted her head up. It was a note. She twisted her legs underneath her and picked it up. Her hands shaking. Her eyes skimmed over the surface.

* * *

_To: Sakura_

_Love: Sasuke_

* * *

She let out one more sob; he had always been one for leaving notes. It may have seemed impersonal and stupid to other girls. But to her it meant more. It was the sweetest thing ever. And she loved him even more for it.

Her heart surged as she finally found the courage to open the note. She slipped her finger inside of the crease and pulled gently unfolding it. She could faintly see his elegant script through the thin membrane of the paper.

She turned away at first, thinking she may be unable to read it. Thinking it may just be too much for her tear shaking body.

She finally swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped her face of tears clenching the paper in one hand crinkling it even more, and turned to look at the crinkled paper.

_To be continued…_

* * *


End file.
